I have seizures.
Trust me, if I had a choice, it would be to NOT tell you. I would rather both of us go along with our lives without me having to be real or authentic with you about what's going on in my life.
It would be easier for me to simply answer "I'm fine" to your "How are you doing?" It would be even easier for me to just stay home, in bed and not have to deal with anyone.
However, I have seizures. And, I have to choose to continue living. I force myself to get out of bed everyday, not cursing God for the suffering that my family and I are living with. Instead, I try to spend time with Him each day, recognizing how these life experiences are bringing me closer to him and those that I love.
Yes, I have moments that I cannot control the violent convulsions or slamming my head on the ground; I cannot stop the socially-repulsive drooling nor the loud and obnoxious sounds that are coming out of my mouth.
Guess what? When it seems as though I'm just staring off into space and ignoring you...I'm not. If I tell you "I don't know" and cannot make a decision, that's real. I'm not TRYING to be a pain in the ass. I really cannot make a decision right then. And that inappropriate, uncontrollable laughter may be wrapped up in this as well.
No, this blog is not for attention. Neither are my episodes. I cannot control them anymore than you can control a sneeze.
Rather, I can take this opportunity to tell you about what this life God has given me right now is like. I can share with you how you can help me if I happen to have a seizure in your presence. I can give you resources to educate yourself and your children about why Miss Sara is acting the way that she is.
If you would like to know how you can help me (or someone else who is having a seizure) please watch the quick videos, linked below. They explain very succinctly what you should and should not do in the event that this uncomfortable situation happen in your presence.
Seizure First Aid
Seizure Education
Precious Sara, I have listened to the videos and feel well prepared to help you should you have a seizure in my presence. Helping you through the discomfort would be an honor for me, and, when you are unconscious you can trust me to take care of you, preserving your dignity and protecting you throughout the seizure.
ReplyDeleteYou are very dear to me, Sara, and I know this is extremely hard for you. I pledge to you that I will do all I can to lessen your stress and embarrassment as a result of any possible seizure. I will NOT be embarrassed to care for you during this time....but honored. Thank you for sharing such a difficult thing with us. You are safe with me.
Loving you into eternity,
Liz Bryant