Granted, it hasn't been all peaches and cream. There has been some defiance and set backs regarding his attitude. But, how much of that is the independence of a kindergartner and how much of it is reaction to my current medical fiasco? We don't know...
However, here are a few examples of how Jackson has apparently perceived my situation...
1) It's not really a big deal.
The other day, while I was prepping dinner and boiling water, I had a doozy of a seizure. I had been able to get myself out of the kitchen, remove my glasses and get onto the floor. Brent and Jackson were outside. I was in recovery, lying on the floor when Jackson came running upstairs. "Hi, Mom!" he shouted as he whizzed past me. "Uhhh..." was all I could get out. Then, I hear the toilet seat lift and him clamor onto it. Brent came in a few minutes later to find me still lying on the floor. When I approached Jackson about his non-reaction later, he said "Mama, I just really had to pooooooop. What's more important? Checking on you or getting my poop in the potty on time?"Dually noted, my child. After a smidge of education, I sent him on his way to play. Kids.
2) It doesn't matter what people think.
While getting him ready for bed last week, he says "Mama, I missed you at library today. How come you aren't at my school anymore?" I replied, "Jackson, we've decided that until my episodes are under control, I'm not going to volunteer at your school." Simply, he just asked "why?" I tried to explain how I don't want to scare the other students. "You won't scare them, Mama. You're just my mama" was his reply. I tried to tell him about how I don't want the teachers or librarian to have to take time away from the students to take care of me. He says without missing a beat, "Well, if it happens when I'm there, I'll take care of you. No one will have to do it but me." I tried to tell him that I will come back when I'm back to being my old self. To which he replied, "But, Mama. You are still my mama. You CAN still help. They won't be scared of you." Sage wisdom from a little boy who wants things to return to the way they were before.
3) I can take care of you all by myself.
This one I struggle with deeply. I feel like I am in some way stealing part of his innocence from him by allowing him to have to "take care" of me when I'm not feeling well. Yet, he just dutifully rubs my back and tells me it's okay when I have a seizure with him around. Yesterday, while he was playing with his matchbox cars, he asked me a question. I couldn't respond as I was staring off into no-where land. Jackson said "Mama, are you okay?" I didn't answer. He stopped what he was doing, took my glasses off my face, and went back to his toys. I had a mild seizure with little movement but vocalizations while sitting on the couch. After I recovered, I asked him to come over to me. I thanked him for helping to take care of me and asked him where he put my glasses. He said, "I put them between these two containers so no one would step on them." He smiled and gave me a kiss. He was proud of himself...I was proud of him too.
Thank you, Jackson, for being such a brave and patient boy. You truly are a blessing from Heaven.
He sure is a delight... AND lucky to have such wonderful parents. Thanks for sharing ;-)
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